For anyone who’s not in the music world that don’t know what a festival is it’s sort of like summer camp for musicians. Musicians go to these festivals, throughout the U.S. or abroad, for a couple weeks and study with professionals from all over. Not only is it a fantastic learning experience, but it’s also a chance to travel. For each festival you have to audition and send in all kinds of extra materials.
I’ve always talked about doing one, but have never applied. This I most likely due to my lack of confidence in my oboe playing abilities. I’ve known musicians that have gotten into festivals and they are phenomenal players. I don’t think I could never perform like that, not to mention pass an audition knowing the talent that I’m competing against. Plus festivals aren’t geared toward hobbyists, they’re geared more towards those who want to play their instruments as a profession.
I suppose getting into a festival would be more of that validation I’m seeking. I just wish I knew why this validation was so important to me. Proving a certain someone wrong would make me feel great, but they’ve been out of my life for so long now I don’t know why it still matters. And I don’t know if you could tell but my attitude and confidence levels seem to be big roadblocks. They always have been, but I’m not sure where to start building my self-esteem. Though if I fix the confidence issue I probably would fix the validation problem. Hmmm…
P.S. I know the picture doesn’t make a whole lot of sense seeing as I’m an oboe player, but I couldn’t find an oboe player with their teacher. I settled on this photo because I assume this is what you would look like if you went to a summer festival and played the viola.
If you count CDs of recital music I suppose I’ve made a couple CDs of oboe music. Technically though they were CDs of oboe AND bassoon music because I’ve never done a recital of just oboe music. But it’s all kind of blah. I can hear all my mistakes, not to mention the clanking of the bassoon keys, and it’s just…blah. So I suppose this should say I want to produce a PROFESSIONAL cd of oboe music.
Oboe has always been kind of a hobby and I’ve tried to make it my major/career, but it really took all the joy out of it. It just seemed like work. The main reason this is on my bucket list is that I’ve always been told that I’m either a mediocre oboe player or a terrible oboe player. And though those that gave these opinions are not the nicest people, they are professionals and it’s hard to get their negativity out of my head, even when I know I’m not a bad oboe player (however there’s always room for improvement). To me the cd would serve as some sort of validation. Validation of what, I’m not sure. Plus mediocre/bad musicians make CDs all the time; look at Kenny G. And in the end I might just end up being a crappy musician with a crappy cd, but I’d be able to say I gave it whirl and I had the balls to put myself out there.
Above is a letter I received with a holiday card from a couple that I’m friends with, basically sharing their exploits of the previous year. I know, it doesn’t sounds so awful, but here’s the kicker, it’s written from the point of few of their cat. That’s right, their cat. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes these cards are adorable and are an improvement to staring at pictures of their “family” all dressed in matching sweaters, but seeing as my friends sent me pictures of themselves as well as their beloved cat it doesn’t matter. Plus they’re not Christian. THEY DON’T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS! At least not on their own. Their families have parities they go to, and who doesn’t like presents? But I don’t see Jewish people sending out Hanukah cards just to update everyone on how their year was and to show you how big their pet poodle has gotten. So in the end they basically sent me a letter to talk about themselves and the sad thing is my roommate and I already knew about EVERYTHING in the letter. Not only did I have to read their ridiculous letter, but then I had to find a space for their “card” on my wall. I know what you’re saying, “you don’t have to hang it up,” and to you I say, “Yes, you do it’s an unwritten holiday card rule.” So in response I decided to craft my own letter from the point of few of my roommate’s dog, Hannah. I couldn’t send the letter because the fact that I even wrote is slightly embarrassing. And to be quite honest, it makes it sound like I’m dating my roommate. Not that there’s anything against lesbianism.
As we embrace the holiday season I want to wish your family a happy Christmas and a happy Hanukkah, or as I like to call it Christmakkah. This past year has been a busy one for my new family and so this Christmakkah is a special one.
It all started in May when Heather moved in. I didn’t like it at first because there was less room to play, but Heather is so great at cuddling and she gives me so much attention it doesn’t bother me anymore. Heather is a very busy student. She’s graduating in May with her Bachelors of Science degree in English and a minor in Music. Trisha already graduated with a degree in Music, but she’s been taking a couple classes and working hard at two libraries, she really loves what she does. And between her two library jobs and mentoring children at the local schools she’s just as busy as Heather.
My mommies do a lot of stuff, sometimes together and sometimes I even get to go with them. Just this summer alone Heather went the the Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block concert and she even took a roadtrip to Nashville for pridefest. Trisha worked hard at her internship at the public library and I got to visit grandma a lot. I love grandma, she always has toys and treats for me. Together my mommies went to Chocolate Fest, Summerfest twice, and a mini roadtrip to Michigan. I got to go on the Michigan trip, but I got sick on the way back. I’m not a fan of car rides so my tummy was not happy.
Trisha has decided to become a librarian and has applied to the University of Wisconsin – Milwaukee and the University of Wisconsin – Madison for their Library Science programs. Heather has decided to come back to the University of Wisconsin – Whitewater to pursue a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Art Metals. She’s still not sure if she wants to pursue a teaching certification or not. They’re both so smart I feel like I could get a college degree just by being around them.
It may seem like I don’t get enough attention, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I see my grandma a lot and I hang out with Trisha’s friend Chris almost every Sunday. I’ve also made a couple of friends this year. I met Cookie when we went to Michigan. She was smaller than me and she had quite a bit of energy. She ran circles around me. I also met Fergie when I went over to Heather’s friend Neta’s house for Friday playdates. Fergie is very big, but I’m not afraid of her, she’s a big softie.
All in all it’s been a busy year. And I’m hoping my mommies get to stay roommates because Heather does a great job at watching me when Trisha’s not there and vice versa. There’s always somebody there to make sure I’m fed and that I’m feeling well. When I finished off a bag of Halloween candy, even eating some chocolate, they were both there making phone calls and sitting with me in the bathroom, though Trisha handled the clean-up. Heather can’t handle vomit clean-up.
So once again Happy Christmakkah and have a safe and sane holiday season.
This bucket list item is pretty simple, I want this blog, or any blog I post on, to be famous. I want a GAZILLION followers. I want to entertain the masses from the comfort of my own home. I want to share my writing. But most importantly I want share my experiences.
This semester, on my journey to better blogging, I had the opportunity to interview an experienced blogger, Pete Prodoehl. I’d say he’s pretty famous. He’s been on the internet since 1994 and has one of the longest running blogs. He’s kept his main blog, Rasterweb, going since 1997, which is a feat within itself. I mean most people who start blogs start them for specific reasons and after a couple posts they forget about them (It hasn’t happened to the Flabulous Bisexual, but I’ve had trouble keeping it up. Sometimes I leave for a couple months and then come back. The coming back part is important.).
The other thing about Pete’s (hope he doesn’t mind me being informal) blogging is that he posts his experiences to help other people. If he toils at a computer program and has to go to hell and back to get it to work, he then posts the process he went through and how he solved the problem. He does this to HELP people. He wants to give back to his readers. And, by the way, the money he makes on his blog via ads he doesn’t keep, he donates it to a project or charity he supports.
Most bloggers write to vent emotions or tell a story, but do we ever think about posting to help someone? Do we ever think, “I’m gonna post this story because I bet someone’s going through this too and it might help them.” I’ve always thought about entertaining my audience, but I never thought of my experiences helping anyone. I just talk about me. Hopefully what I post helps my readers, otherwise this all seems pretty selfish.